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The Best Damned Dark Souls Song

from Idiot Quest by Popskyy

/

lyrics

THE BEST DAMNED DARK SOULS SONG

(without music)
And we’re in . . .
Here we go Dash, what do we got?
Through the door, let’s see . . .


What the fuck is this?
He’s huge.


Why are all the bosses in this game twelve times our size.
That’s way too many graphics.
How come Dash doesn’t get graphics like that?
What’s he doing?
Dash, don’t just stand there.
Or he’s gonna . . .
DO THAT.
See?
How about get in there!
Give him a taste.
Look out.
Okay that hurt.
See if you can get a drink.
He says no.
Stay with him.
Okay, skate out! Now! Now!
Fuck!


All right, round two with this bitch.
Let’s go, Dash.
Wait, I can’t . . . what’s going on?
Menu!
Fuck, menu!
Out
Out
Out
Shit


Okay, round, what is this nine, ten?
Stay close, Dash.
Don’t do that.
You crazy fuck.
Holy shit, I’m alive.
Drink, you idiot.


Take a shot. Take a shot.
There it is!
Atta boy, Dash. He felt that one.
Storm’s a blowin’ now!
Take another. One more.


Oops.
Roll, roll, roll out!
Where’s the green bar up in this bitch?
What?
Oh come on!
He’s never done that before.
That fucked us.
That was completely random.
He does that?
Since when?
The entire Dark Souls development team laughing at that one.
God damn it.


Okay, welcome back to Dark Souls. This is like, my hundredth run against this same fuck.
You’re tired of watching, imagine Dash’s arms.
Poor bastard.


Let’s go, Dash.
You’ve got this.
Perfect.
There’s a cut!
Nice cut
Beautiful, Dash.
This is the run.

Stay close to him.
Keep him on his toes.
Keep him dancing, Dash.
Nice roll.
There it is again.
Take one more!
Take another!
Get entitled on his ass!
Ouch, that’s okay.
You’re all right.
Get a drink.

And we are out of estus.
Careful.
Now caution.
Stick and move, Dash.
How’s his health?
Not even half way?
I have a feeling we’ll be doing this again tomorrow.

Best Damned Dark Souls on Twitch, run 7 or 8 hundred.
Enough fucking around.
This is the run.
Great start.
You got this, Dash.
And move back in.
Fuck yeah.
Gorgeous, Dash!
What a cut!
Annnnnd roll.
God, you’re looking sharp, Dash.
Annnnnd inside.
Go to work.
Hit him.
Hit him.
Kneel you fuck.
Hit him again.
Kneel.
Kneel.
You got him, Dash, you got this!
He’s going down.
He can’t take anymore!
Drop him.
Drop him!

Wait what?
What happened?
How did I even die?
Oh my god . . .

(YOU DIED sound)

(without music)
Okay.
No worries.
Dash the rash, never goes away.
We’ll be back.
He’s coming right back.
Nothing’s stopped him yet. Nothing ever gonna.
Let’s go again.

credits

from Idiot Quest, released April 1, 2017
Some Drum samples provided by DAAP (Dead Animal Assembly Plant)

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Popskyy Houston, Texas

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