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Get Slain (feat. Wally The Wizard)

by Popskyy

/

lyrics

GET SLAIN - By Wally and Popskyy


Good evening.

Are you ready to role-play?

(Heh heh heh)

Okay!


We always start out drunk in a tavern,

But we buy a map to a cavern,

Spent hella gold on these mounts,

Just goes to show you, charisma counts, now . . .


We’re riding in the rain,

Full hitpoints so we feel no pain,

We ready to roll and we ready to play,

Why is this place so far away?


Random encounter during the night,

Bunch of bugbears spoilin’ for a fight,

Grab our dice and we’re in it to win,

Paladin fumbles before we begin.


Our mage, is gonna cast a spell,

Burning hands, she’ll give ‘em hell,

That’s right, we’ll light up the night,

Come the dawn, it’s be all right,


So long, as our cleric’s alive,

We’ll all be healed and we’ll all survive,

Breaks our fasts and we’re off again,

Anyone step to us get slain.


(Chorus: Get Slain)


Now open your Player’s Handbook to page 251.

What’s the range on Hold Monster?

90 feet. (heh heh heh)

Now you see where you messed up, right?

Okay . . .


So we find ourselves in a forest,

With our halfling who’s the shortest,

But we trust in what he perceives,

Suddenly we’re jumped by a band of thieves!


‘Cause they want our loot,

But we got a dwarf who’ll give ‘em the boot,

Half-orc barbarian raging around,

Swinging that axe they all hit the ground.


The druid transforms and becomes a bear,

The fighter is fighting like he just don’t care,

Think of all the XP we’re gonna gain!

Anyone step to us, they get slain!


(Chorus: Get Slain, HOLD! Get Slain)


There’s the mountain,

There’s the cave,

There’s the cavern.


None of this is on our map.

We bought the wrong map.


Every two feet we’re checking for traps, yeah?

Okay . . .


We all sticking to our racial traits,

I think Darkvision decides our fates,

Is this a puzzle? We’ll all opt out,

Slaying the boss is what we’re all about.


But we found us a key,

Even though it wasn’t shit to me,

Could’ve broke it down with a simple strength check,

Spent two hour searching -- what the heck?


Yet now, our treasure is near,

Bless us while the dwarf chugs a beer,

We goin’ in and I’m not gonna lie,

Pretty sure everyone here’s gonna die,


Initiative roll goes our way,

Attack of opportunity, hey hey hey!

Bonus to this and bonus to that,

One penalty and it’s over splat!


We drank that piss from a paper cup,

So it’s no surprise that we all throw up,

Anyone here from the Astral Plane?

That’s what I thought, you can all get slain.


(Chorus: Get slain)


Welcome to The Party

Enjoy the chips and dips.

We’re all friends here.


Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

And the DM.


We in to win.

It’s insane.

Anyone step to us, get slain.


(Chorus: Get Slain)

credits

released August 16, 2021
Lyrics: Wally The Wizard
Music: Popskyy
Track Art: HandicapHobo

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